Alex Trebek reciting Lizzo is like puppies reciting kitties. It’s like French fries reciting pizza. It’s like the last time Alex Trebek brought up Lizzo. Both are so deeply beloved, …
Read More “Alex Trebek Sings Lizzo’s ‘Truth Hurts’ and Now We Want Him to Drop the Album”
Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best woman — wait, is that Bad Bunny? As a Friday treat for all of us, the reggaeton star dropped a music video …
Read More “Bad Bunny Does Drag for ‘Yo Perreo Sola’ Video, Does Not Skimp on Fake Boobs”
The Grammy for Best New Artist is something of a curse. It’s keen on capturing artists in a breakout year but not so good at guessing what happens next. For …
I must issue a retraction for a previous statement. Yesterday, I claimed Rihanna was “too busy being a good citizen to release new music.” Today, she indeed appeared on “BELIEVE …
Read More “Rihanna Will Give You Vocals and Medical Equipment in the Same Week”
You know when you first wake up, so your brain is still scrambling to put two and two together, and you come up with seemingly brilliant ideas like a Cardi …
Read More “Bob Dylan Releases 17-Minute Song About JFK Assassination, Offers No Explanation”
Rihanna will save us all. Too busy being a good citizen to release new music, the singer has donated personal protective equipment to the State of New York to combat …
Read More “Rihanna, Doing the Government’s and God’s Work, Donates Medical Supplies to NY”
There are lots of ways to cope with a self-quarantined existence. You could learn to cook, or do puzzles, or play video games. Or you could break the world speed …
Read More “Britney Spears Is Not Actually Faster Than Usain Bolt”
It was only a matter of time before Ben Gibbard, singer of such anthems of death and doom as “I Will Follow You Into the Dark,” “Transatlanticism,” and “We Will …
Read More “Today’s Cry Is Brought to You by Ben Gibbard’s New Song, ‘Life in Quarantine’”
In this week’s edition of We Regret to Inform You During a Pandemic, the world recently learned that rapper M.I.A. is an anti-vaxxer. The outspoken dance music icon tweeted on …
Read More “M.I.A. Chose the Worst Possible Time to Tell Us She’s an Anti-Vaxxer”
Drake, if you’re reading this, get a job! Stay away from her! Just like every ex you have saved in your phone with the purple devil emoji next to their …
Read More “Drake Found a Way to Annoy Rihanna From Quarantine”